Why the Big City??

I had an opportunity to travel into to some very rural areas in the recent weeks-- and by rural, I mean a long way from any real city or metropolitan area.  I was eating in the local diner, a meat and three of course, and really started to notice the people in the room and how they fit into the local scene.     I think there was a rancher and one of his hands, some construction workers-- the mud on the pants and shoes were dead give aways, the restaurant help, me and probably a retired man who was eating with all his outer wear still on. It was cold.   I know the conclusion I am going after is a stretch, but I have seen the same scene in numerous towns throughout the US.

Competition in the outlands is a lot different than in the big town.  A lot of people stay out of the cities except for trips to the "big mall" or hospital when they or a family member needs to have some surgery. And while they are at these big city facilities, they can be easily located... These folks are quite happy staying local and competing with the locals, the small pond scenario.  They are happy to stay in their element and not have to endure the challenges of big city life where the pond is infinitely larger and dangerous. I applaud their patience.   

BUT....I came from an area of the world where I could have stayed in the small pond and I know what would have happened.  Either death by boredom or alcoholism and obesity and more tedium. I would have been miserable unless I traveled a lot.  Really??  Yep, really.  

My entire life I have been competitive,  and I have always tried to find competition where I had a shot of winning.   If you are near the top in the small pond, the big pond is where you head.   The locals I saw last week,  did not make the leap to meet the  challenge of survival in the big pond, they stayed to grind out survival in the little pond.   They may have never had a legitimate chance to go to the big time, who knows?  But, if you want it bad enough, you can get it. 

I know why I have gone to the big city.    I wanted to know if I belonged in the big pond, could I compete and survive?  If I didn't try it, I would have had the gnawing in my guts until the day I died. I hate that type of gnawing.   I have struggled to get onto he big pond my whole life and I am not stopping now.     If you lose or fail, and I have done that plenty of that, back up and give it another try..  But, before the next shot, you study why you failed, make a new plan, prepare and go after it again.  Sounds simple, but it is not that easy and that is the reason it is avoided by a lot of people. It takes time, work and the will power to endure.    I like competing, but hate losing when I did not prepare properly.    Sometimes your best is not good enough and you get beat, and that has happened my entire life and I can deal with that.  But, if I know I had a shot to win it and was not ready.....  that is when the pissed off loser shows up.   I am doing everything I can in life, and that includes relationships, racing, and my work life--- to not be that pissed off loser.