Events the last couple of weeks have demonstrated to me that life is precious and you must make the best of your current situation.
My younger sister died last Monday at age 52. My Father died ten years ago and that was sort of expected and the family was prepared as best as it could. He had been disabled from an industrial accident when I was 6 years old. He spent the rest of his life in a hospital or extended care facility, unable to walk or talk. He succumbed finally to pneumonia. Jill died as result of cancer. We learned of the cancer about a year and half ago and she battled hard to the end, but there was more cancer everyday and her body eventually was overcome. The end came very very quickly. She only quit work less than a month ago.
Everytime a family member that is that close to you is gone, a really big hole is left in your life. The hole is painful and will remain forever, nothing can take its place, nothing can really help the pain. Time will mute the pain some, but it remains. Thinking back to the 'what ifs' and 'if onlys' you try to find to scenarios where they are still on the Earth with you, but fate or whatever you call it--life- gets in the way and they are gone. Hopefully they are gone to a better place and they no longer have the pain of their body and lives to haunt them.
I was in Mexico when I got the call of Jill's death. It was Thanksgiving week in the US and travel that week is tough at best. I changed my plans to return home on Tuesday and made it without any real problems. Then Linda and I drove to Ohio for the Memorial and Thanksgiving Dinner. We had a chance to eat and hang with the family and it was wonderful. Jill's favorite Holiday was Thanksgiving and we tried our best to celebrate it in her honor. Jill was cremated and a Memorial was held on Friday night so her follow workers at the Oscar Meyer bacon plant could attend. It was very difficult to meet the people she had interacted with every day for nearly 20 years, they will have a hole in their life too. Jill was well liked and one of those workers who enjoyed the work and was good at it as well.
The 'what ifs' and tears will continue for a while, this is a tough one to try and get over. Some people asked if I was going to deer hunt this week in Ohio. The last thing I needed to do was wander around with a loaded gun with a lot of time to think and ponder. Instead, I will spend it with Linda as I work through the emotions and healing process. The deer can wait.
Today is cloudy. rainy and getting colder. My energy is gone and I am basically exhausted from the process. I napped some and it has helped, but in the end, my sister is gone and only memories remain.....
My younger sister died last Monday at age 52. My Father died ten years ago and that was sort of expected and the family was prepared as best as it could. He had been disabled from an industrial accident when I was 6 years old. He spent the rest of his life in a hospital or extended care facility, unable to walk or talk. He succumbed finally to pneumonia. Jill died as result of cancer. We learned of the cancer about a year and half ago and she battled hard to the end, but there was more cancer everyday and her body eventually was overcome. The end came very very quickly. She only quit work less than a month ago.
Everytime a family member that is that close to you is gone, a really big hole is left in your life. The hole is painful and will remain forever, nothing can take its place, nothing can really help the pain. Time will mute the pain some, but it remains. Thinking back to the 'what ifs' and 'if onlys' you try to find to scenarios where they are still on the Earth with you, but fate or whatever you call it--life- gets in the way and they are gone. Hopefully they are gone to a better place and they no longer have the pain of their body and lives to haunt them.
I was in Mexico when I got the call of Jill's death. It was Thanksgiving week in the US and travel that week is tough at best. I changed my plans to return home on Tuesday and made it without any real problems. Then Linda and I drove to Ohio for the Memorial and Thanksgiving Dinner. We had a chance to eat and hang with the family and it was wonderful. Jill's favorite Holiday was Thanksgiving and we tried our best to celebrate it in her honor. Jill was cremated and a Memorial was held on Friday night so her follow workers at the Oscar Meyer bacon plant could attend. It was very difficult to meet the people she had interacted with every day for nearly 20 years, they will have a hole in their life too. Jill was well liked and one of those workers who enjoyed the work and was good at it as well.
The 'what ifs' and tears will continue for a while, this is a tough one to try and get over. Some people asked if I was going to deer hunt this week in Ohio. The last thing I needed to do was wander around with a loaded gun with a lot of time to think and ponder. Instead, I will spend it with Linda as I work through the emotions and healing process. The deer can wait.
Today is cloudy. rainy and getting colder. My energy is gone and I am basically exhausted from the process. I napped some and it has helped, but in the end, my sister is gone and only memories remain.....
Comments
Post a Comment